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Meh. Not impressed by the open. Seems a little trite or something.
Also, as a first-generation couldn’t this be your diversity statement or something?
I’m also a URM, so my diversity statement will be about that.
Can’t combine them perhaps?
The topic seems fine to me, but I agree about the opening - the spring semester discussion on resilience is fine insofar as it provides context and a framing device for your life story, but the facts from first paragraph would fit in (in some form) after the third paragraph and, to me, it’s not really doing enough work as an attention grabber right now to have it in the front.
Thank you! I’m definitely not the most creative person, so writing my personal statement has been a struggle. I’ll work on it some more. Thanks y’all!
Seems disjointed to me. Any chance you got a different PS?